Comments on: On (not) having heros in life http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm about a thing called life Tue, 14 May 2013 08:40:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 By: Abey http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6378 Abey Thu, 27 Sep 2012 12:33:30 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6378 You can't. ie Not have heroes in your life. Someone or the other is impacting you in some way or the other. Whether you acknowldege it or not. What you are doing is taking it all and repackaging it through your unique perspective. Heroes will always be heroes. It is your understanding of your hero that has to change. Being scared of rejection and limiting your hero-hood to yourself is shortsighted. Rejection is something that scares the crap out of me too. Thankfully none of my heroes, the ones I have approached in my head ever treated me with anything but a welcoming smile. :) Hopefully reality will not be all that different. But even if it is and my heroes sock it to me in the jaw, I'll still take it. They've taught me more than I can ever say I've learnt on my own. You can’t. ie Not have heroes in your life. Someone or the other is impacting you in some way or the other. Whether you acknowldege it or not. What you are doing is taking it all and repackaging it through your unique perspective. Heroes will always be heroes. It is your understanding of your hero that has to change. Being scared of rejection and limiting your hero-hood to yourself is shortsighted.

Rejection is something that scares the crap out of me too. Thankfully none of my heroes, the ones I have approached in my head ever treated me with anything but a welcoming smile. :) Hopefully reality will not be all that different. But even if it is and my heroes sock it to me in the jaw, I’ll still take it. They’ve taught me more than I can ever say I’ve learnt on my own.

]]> By: matt http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6150 matt Tue, 08 May 2012 22:49:41 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6150 like i tell most people who try to be steve jobs your not him. you don't have his vision. like i tell most people who try to be steve jobs

your not him.

you don’t have his vision.

]]> By: Paras Chopra http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6144 Paras Chopra Sat, 05 May 2012 14:12:05 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6144 I agree completely that fear of rejection should not let one not pursue what he wants. It is an error to generalize my statement regarding heros to all other areas. I merely state that worshipping heros is not something I prefer and that's because I like ideas more than people who produce them. Disappointment can catch us anytime, we cannot control the world. But what we can control is ourselves, and our value systems. And if that prevents some disappointment without sacrificing any other aspect, why not pursue it? I agree completely that fear of rejection should not let one not pursue what he wants. It is an error to generalize my statement regarding heros to all other areas. I merely state that worshipping heros is not something I prefer and that’s because I like ideas more than people who produce them. Disappointment can catch us anytime, we cannot control the world. But what we can control is ourselves, and our value systems. And if that prevents some disappointment without sacrificing any other aspect, why not pursue it?

]]> By: Prefertoremainanonymous http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6142 Prefertoremainanonymous Sat, 05 May 2012 11:01:31 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6142 Remedy: Choose dead heroes. They won't scoff at your interpretation of them. On a serious note, fear of rejection, just like fear of failure, applies to almost all human endeavours. That should be the last reason to stop doing something. Trying at all times to avert disappointment is a sureshot way of leading a life of long, languorous disappointment. Remedy: Choose dead heroes. They won’t scoff at your interpretation of them.

On a serious note, fear of rejection, just like fear of failure, applies to almost all human endeavours. That should be the last reason to stop doing something. Trying at all times to avert disappointment is a sureshot way of leading a life of long, languorous disappointment.

]]> By: Paras Chopra http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6141 Paras Chopra Fri, 04 May 2012 20:30:54 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6141 I may be wrong but emotional need for a hero would be to validate one self. That one is not peculiar in his/her likings and wants. This need for validation is what may make rejection so damn painful. I may be wrong but emotional need for a hero would be to validate one self. That one is not peculiar in his/her likings and wants. This need for validation is what may make rejection so damn painful.

]]> By: Sushrut Bidwai http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6140 Sushrut Bidwai Fri, 04 May 2012 20:21:23 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6140 *I would not (want to) fall in love so deeply and madly that I start valuing the other more than myself. This would let me prepare mentally for a possible rejection.* Exactly. At least not until fear of rejection overtakes euphoria of acceptance. Same can be applied to all other human relationships. Only difference wrt to relationship with a hero is, most of the times its unidirectional. And hence neither acceptance nor rejection should hinder its course. Whether that course is growth or eventual break is time dependent. I think better thought to ponder over is - what is the emotional need to have a hero at all? Mentor I can understand, but hero I am not entirely sure. *I would not (want to) fall in love so deeply and madly that I start valuing the other more than myself. This would let me prepare mentally for a possible rejection.*

Exactly. At least not until fear of rejection overtakes euphoria of acceptance. Same can be applied to all other human relationships. Only difference wrt to relationship with a hero is, most of the times its unidirectional. And hence neither acceptance nor rejection should hinder its course. Whether that course is growth or eventual break is time dependent.

I think better thought to ponder over is – what is the emotional need to have a hero at all? Mentor I can understand, but hero I am not entirely sure.

]]> By: Paras Chopra http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6139 Paras Chopra Fri, 04 May 2012 20:08:22 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6139 You make an interesting comment. I did not make it explicit in my post but when we respect a hero, we respect our *interpretation* of their ideas and way and project it to them. It can be likely that our interpretation is vastly different than their actual ideas (as they believe). What you are saying is really what I am saying, so I don't see a disagreement here. Regarding your last comment, I would not (want to) fall in love so deeply and madly that I start valuing the other more than myself. This would let me prepare mentally for a possible rejection. You make an interesting comment. I did not make it explicit in my post but when we respect a hero, we respect our *interpretation* of their ideas and way and project it to them. It can be likely that our interpretation is vastly different than their actual ideas (as they believe). What you are saying is really what I am saying, so I don’t see a disagreement here.

Regarding your last comment, I would not (want to) fall in love so deeply and madly that I start valuing the other more than myself. This would let me prepare mentally for a possible rejection.

]]> By: Sushrut Bidwai http://paraschopra.com/blog/personal/on-not-having-heros-in-life.htm/comment-page-1#comment-6138 Sushrut Bidwai Fri, 04 May 2012 20:02:02 +0000 http://paraschopra.com/blog/?p=683#comment-6138 I think you got it backwards here. You are not emulating your hero. *Your* hero is merely an extrapolation of what you want to be. You dont like simple design because you chose your hero to be Steve Jobs. Your hero is Steve Jobs because you like simple design. Rejection by any one, including a hero, is difficult to handle. But that does not mean you should not have any human relationships at all. Will you not ever fall in love just because at there is a chance of rejection there? I think you got it backwards here. You are not emulating your hero. *Your* hero is merely an extrapolation of what you want to be. You dont like simple design because you chose your hero to be Steve Jobs. Your hero is Steve Jobs because you like simple design.

Rejection by any one, including a hero, is difficult to handle. But that does not mean you should not have any human relationships at all. Will you not ever fall in love just because at there is a chance of rejection there?

]]>