Yesterday, my father brought home a gaudy-looking butterfly lamp which was (unsurprisingly) Chinese made. I eagerly read the “instructions” on the cover and was, in no time, rolling on the floor laughing. You might have already guessed the reason for my uncontrolled laughter. But if you have not (which means you are from planet Mars), here is the reason for my laughter: CHINEEZ ENGLISH. I am reproducing the “instructions” on the cover below. Have a look at them. They are hilarious.
THE LITTLE POLY-COLOURED FLUORESCENT
THIS PRODUCT IS ADOPTED (now, products are adopted too) FROM THE IMPORT MATERIAL AND IS PRODUCED WITH COMPONMENT (the componment is new invention from the land of China). IT IS OF HIGH RESULT AND CAN SAVE ENERGY SOURCES (The world talks about saving energy, China talks about saving *sources* of energy instead). IT HAS ECONOMY ( wow! ) AND HIGH DEVELOPING CHARACTER (now, what the hell is high developing character; maybe some Chinese innovation). IT SUITS IN USING IN THE DARK (but you may use the lamp in daylight also).
ENVIRONMENT AT THE CORRIDOR, PASS, WATER CLOSET ( omg! ) ETC. AND GIVING THEM A SOFT LIGHT (earlier we used to treat our corridor with hard light). ITS OUTWARD IS BEAUTIFUL AND IT IS THE IDEAL CHOICE OF THE HOUSE (I wish my house could speak; sob sob).
MADE IN CHINA.
Mind you, the “instructions” were printed in ALL-CAPS only. This means they are shouting their lungs out just to make sure we don’t make any mistakes installing this product. How nice of them. They care for us.
PS: Today, as I write this post, the lamp’s bulb (or whatever) fused and it is not working now. I will miss my LITTLE POLY-COLOURED FLUORESCENT.